A Harmonian's Pledge
by TheGossipQueen
Summary: A sarcastic poem written by a Heron about what a Harmonian's mentality might be like. This is a repost.


**A/N: This was called "H/Hr" poem but the title got on my nerves. And before you ask, I wrote this because I'm just a big, mean Harry-Potter-Fan-Fiction-Website bully with noclue of what appropriate sense of humor is.**

_**A Harmonian's Pledge**_

"Harry and 'Mione are meant to be,

It's cute, it's simple, it's clear to see."

Those are the words which I said,

Three years back on an HP thread.

But I wasn't prepared for what came next,

I knew nothing of "shipping," just the books and the text!

As I rambled and rambled 'bout Harry and 'Mione,

An evil creature kept their eyes on me.

Out of the shadows came that beast,

And said, "Have you _even_ read the books at least?"

"Of course," I said, thinking they're deluded,

And from that statement they concluded,

That I was either full of shit,

Or didn't know the half of it.

Obviously it got very heated,

But those jerks were so conceited,

That I just had to leave that site,

And go to one where fans read right.

I went to one called Kindred Spirits,

Asked of "shipping," someone cleared it.

I soon began to see the light,

There's them, there's us, they're wrong, we're right.

They say they see "reality,"

And claim we're stuck in _fantasy,_

They say that we're in deep denial,

Wanting Harry 'n 'Mione down the aisle,

They say that we're severely cracked,

Thinking Harmonian romance'll end up a fact.

But we don't listen, we don't care.

We know what we see is surely there,

And what we see is bliss romance,

Not fussy fights or petty rants.

The H/Hrs I met taught me all I know,

I'm no longer an amateur, they made me a pro.

I'm a true sailor, prepared to debate,

I know all of our proof (the stuff we create).

So for all you new H/Hrs reading,

Pay attention, this is a meeting.

At your first debates, remember these rules,

They're extremely important, your only tools.

Rule number one: nothing's obvious,

They only count if they work for us.

Rule number two: don't go by the books,

Nothing's as it ever looks.

So when an R/Hr pulls out their scenes,

Play stupid and say, "That's not what that means!"

Rule number three: no interviews,

They really don't support our views.

Besides they really are hard to fight,

They always prove our enemy right.

Remember those rules, please, I'm pleading,

You need to be good, to reflect my leading.

Now when you're asked for evidence,

Mention these, they're full of brilliance.

In PoA is our first clue,

On a hippogriff Harry and 'Mione flew.

"What's the significance?" they may ask,

And here begins your lengthy task.

Explain how hippogriffs symbolize love,

And how this is surely indicative of,

The fact that JK's giving us clues,

Unlike for the rest of you's,

Say that hippogriffs were made by the Greeks,

Yeah, I know they weren't, but we can't be weak.

Clue number two's inside book four,

I'm sure that this one's been mentioned before.

Right at the end we're given good proof,

Which shows that we're really not very aloof.

Hermione's supposedly in love with dear Ron,

But what she did makes me think, "Hang on."

If she actually loves him, then why'd she kiss Harry?

Surely it's not 'cuz he's seen stuff that's scary?

I mean, so what if he saw someone die?

It's not like he knew him, it's not like he'd cry.

And so what if he'd finished just going through hell?

It's happened to everyone at some point, as well.

So if you think that kiss was for pity,

I have to say, my friend, you're not witty.

Clue number three's all over the place,

I think we've all noticed Hermione's kind grace.

The grace she gives only to dear Mr. Potter,

The grace she should give to the one she claims hotter?

There's plenty more proof, but I don't feel like typing.

H/Hr's just perfect, so quit with the sniping.

With Harry 'n Mione there's not one single flaw,

They're just so damn perfect, they leave me in awe.

But I must say I've a bone to pick,

With the author of that famous fic,

In which Harry finds 'Mione eating a pie,

And looks into her pretty eyes.

They end up sharing a wonderful kiss,

A kiss full of nothing except sheer bliss.

And of all the pies the author could pick,

They chose the one that makes me sick.

There's lemon, cherry, cream, but _pumpkin?_

The author _must _have been a bumpkin.

I mean, have they ever tasted that pie?

It's so gross you'll want to cry.

But that's how they made the kiss famous taste,

And I can't help but think, "Eww, what a waste."

But that's what we're known as; the pumpkin pie ship,

The author had to get a grip.

But other than that my ship is perfect,

I can't believe that some have left it.

I mean, HBP didn't sink our ship,

There's one more book, so we still didn't slip.

**A/N; If you love it, tell me. If you hate it, flame me. **


End file.
